I found myself in place of sorrow
I found myself in a place of grief
At first, I didn’t have language for it
All I knew was that something was off
And I couldn’t trace it back to any misstep I took
I couldn’t trace it back to anything that I’ve done that was like a consequence
I was just, my emotions were just
I had feelings, I was feeling a lot
Whether it was pandemic stuff
Something I never even knew could happen
Or whether it was relational stuff that was just not working out
Friendships not ending well
It was just my own personal brokenness
Turmoil inner internal battle
I just had feelings, still have feelings
What I realized is that there is a place in feelings
Where you can honor the Lord
Where I can have these feelings
And He’s not in heaven
Hey get out of that
Get out of those feelings
Don’t feel that
He’s not rushing me to get to a place that I’m not
He’s not just in heaven but He’s sitting with me
In my tears, in my fear, in my frustration, in my questions
He’s siting here, present with me
I’ve realized I’ve learnt something about Him, in my feelings
That I may not have learned in the spirit per say
I learned something about Him being the God of my emotions
The One who created me
That I may not have learned had I not been in this place
I’ve learned how to suffer with Him
I think a lot of times
Before in my life, I’ve slipped into depression easier
Slipped into worldly grief easier
Because I’ve tried to suffer without Him
But I’ve learned how to suffer with Him
Through this process, I haven’t been able to pray like I used to
I’ve learned how to suffer with Him
Joined Him in the fellowship of His suffering
That’s what this album is
That’s what these songs are about
My process of lament
My process of suffering with Him
Being able to feel my feelings, but not lean on them
Father, thank You for allowing me to have feelings

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